dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
