think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
A+ Viking dick
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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