did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
