i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
