Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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