you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
