She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
