She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
