You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
