whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
