tell your sister to shave her snatch
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
