New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
