I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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