Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
