Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
