sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
