I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
