you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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