you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
