have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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