3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
