I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
