It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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