I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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