We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
