Plan B is the new Plan A
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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