The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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