I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
