Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
