Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
