just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
