He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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