I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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