so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
