dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
