jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
