If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
