How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
