Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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