Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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