i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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