grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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