ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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