After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sorry about my life...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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