ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
