It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
