Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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