I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We have started to decorate penises.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
