I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
