Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
