I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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