man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
