And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
