My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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