i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
