Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
