I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
