dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
