let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
